Nine Lives, Zero Paperwork

A cat hits a spaceship viewport. In hard vacuum. Completely calm. Mouthing: you missed the turnoff.

It gets worse from there.

Cargo hauler Jarik Venn just wanted to deliver freeze-dried rations and avoid toll stations. Instead he pulled a talking cat out of the vacuum of space, became a wanted man by lunchtime, and accidentally destroyed a government starship with a weaponized hairball.

The cat's name is Brentley. He is a pathological liar, an escaped familiar, and wanted in seventeen systems. He calls it a personal record. He is also Jarik's new passenger, whether Jarik likes it or not.

Now they are being hunted by the Familiar Reclamation Bureau of Licensing, a cosmic agency dedicated to tracking down rogue magical entities and drowning them in paperwork. Their lead agent is Inspector Greeb, a corgi in a tiny vest who quotes regulations like scripture and has a personal vendetta against one particular orange tabby.

Between zero-G slapstick, bureaucratic absurdity, and one catastrophically glowing hairball, Jarik learns that the universe's rules are more like suggestions. Reality bends around Brentley. Lies occasionally come true. And the Bureau has a dedicated form for harboring a fugitive familiar. Several, actually.

When Brentley's past arrives in the form of a Leviathan-class enforcement frigate, Jarik faces a choice: spend the rest of his life filing paperwork in triplicate, or embrace the chaos and become the galaxy's most wanted transportation provider.

The cat already filed the paperwork. Mentally. Jarik is complicit.

Nine Lives, Zero Paperwork is Book One of Nine Lives, Infinite Lies, a comic space opera where the bureaucracy is worse than the pirates.

Publisher - Kysa Steele

Language - English

Perfect Bound

Contributors

By author

Kysa Steele

Published Date - 2026-09-16

ISBN - 9781971434001

Dimensions - 21.6 x 14 x 0.8 cm

Page Count - 150